Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
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