Too much gin, very little bucket
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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