News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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