just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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