Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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