I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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