I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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