I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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