She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
