plz talk dirty to me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
