: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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