Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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