My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My friends, they love my intelligence
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left an ass print on the piano.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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