your room smells of hookers.
And success
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
