"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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