Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
