Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
