I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
