i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
