i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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