so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
