apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
