I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Randomize
