how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
