How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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