Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
