I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
