you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she smelled like a LAN party
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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