Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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