you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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