I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
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I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
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My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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