Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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