i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
