He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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