I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
