He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
