It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
