i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
