Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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