when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
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Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
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I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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