there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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