Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
