Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
