dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
