careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
