forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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