you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
