Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The air was thick with penises
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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