Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
