so that wasnt chicken after all
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
