Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
