She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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