the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
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She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
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I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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