Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
