Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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