I puked a lego.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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