Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
