i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
